Rufus To The Rescue
what pending surgery looks like for the WholeSelf
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Rufus To The Rescue
what pending surgery looks like for the WholeSelf
I found myself standing next to a large woman enthralled by what I assumed was a row of stuffed animals in front of her. I had no idea why I’d turned away from my destination down the co-op’s spice isle. And no idea why I too was staring at a row of bunnies that looked velvet-soft, even though neither of us was touching them. I was there for carrots and parsley, thank you very much.
The woman next to me was quite a bit taller, so her eye level was one shelf above the bunnies. Me, on the other hand, I was eye level with the bunnies, and the sole, light-grey one in the bunch had my full attention.
I reached out and touched its silky-soft fur and felt my adult heart melt. Even as I firmly, without a split second of hesitation, tucked that bunny into a corner of my basket, some part of me was like… whaaaa??? I’m an adult, not a kid. But clearly I was not putting that bunny back on the shelf with his buddies. No. Way!
As I headed towards the carrots, it struck me. The woman next to me wasn’t the least bit enthralled by that mid-row of stuffed animals. She was staring at the row above, the row at her eye-level, full of the co-op’s newest acquisition: bottles of red and white wine.
The unexpected bunny sat on my car dashboard all the way home.
I still had no idea what possessed me to give myself this bunny. I don’t collect stuffed animals, dolls, or anything resembling childhood. But each time I reached out to stroke its non-fur fur, a shiver of pleasure trailed from my fingers into my chest and I could feel a small background tension melt away.
Little Sparrow Speaks Up Without A Word
As the bunny sat on the dinning room table while my husband and I ate dinner, three names popped into my head: Ripples, Rasta, and Rufus.
I turned to my husband, who’s very good at naming inanimate objects. Rufus, he said. So, Rufus it is.
At the moment Rufus got his name, it hit me. I was not the one who had brought Rufus home. This was the doing of Little Sparrow, my inner child. She was the one staring at that row of bunnies, picking up the sole grey one. She needed the comfort of this soft, cuddly creature before our upcoming hip surgery.
She was alerting me to step away from my adult preoccupations and pay attention to my Whole Self—a key ingredient for fast recovery and healing.
Because, if any part of us is struggling with any level of fear it reduces our body, mind, and spirit’s ability to focus on healing.
And so, with this wake up moment, I turned to Little Sparrow first, and asked her, via our non-dominant hand journaling, if she had anything she wanted to ask or tell me before surgery.
Little Sparrow’s small list reminded me about elements I would have missed in the flurry of pre-surgery prep:
Please ask the Dr. to say helpful things when we are asleep.
There is a significant body of research showing the effects of verbalized information on what is assumed to be an unconscious state.
Please ask our nurses to touch and tell us what’s going to happen.
I respond well to caring touch and direct information, but I most likely would not have remembered to bring this up.
And, please bring Rufus!
I get it, and adult me will just have to put aside any embarrassment. I think a good compromise is to tuck Rufus into our overnight bag, and bring him out once I’m through recovery and back in our hospital room.
Next up was WindyWild, my Inner Teen. Essentially, if Little Sparrow was good, she was good. And, she gave me a reminder I sorely needed.
I’m content. I think Little Sparrow covered the bases.
I want to encourage you to take a full two weeks off. Read only what brings you delight. No news. No work. Pure, unfiltered delight!
These days, I’m obsessed with my Reflections blog for visual artists and this Substack publication. The idea that I will not be able to work at the pace I want makes me cranky. Settling into healing and rejuvenation does not come easily, so having WindyWild remind me of the restorative power of deep rest is crucial.
This simple check-in took less than 10 minutes.
But the overall effect is that I feel calm, instead of anxious heading into surgery.
I’m going into this personal expose because I want you to see the potential for how you can use the totality of your Inner Family to bring wisdom and support into your daily life, which I’m sure offers you as many challenges as it does delights.
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What’s Next?
I don’t think this is the time to forage ahead, breaking new ground on the Realms of Radical Creativity.
Instead, I’d like to offer a short series of posts reflecting how the Inner Family, and especially the Inner Teen, can support your life, your goals, and your deepest desires.
Caveat: This may be too ambitious of a reach for me, pre-surgery. If I simply need the time off, I’ll give you a head’s up and keep the faith that all of you will stay with me when I return in a few weeks.
Your support inspires me to reach higher, breathe easier. Your free subscription is splendid. A Paid Subscription helps support my independent writing so I have the resources to offer you more!
Meanwhile, please …
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